The host said my name while I was searching for my bag beneath the table. I thought the bride needed help with her dress. I looked up and saw people turning their chairs. The man with the microphone explained that we were raising extra money to restore a playground. Whoever offered most would receive a kiss from the bride's most cheerful friend. I had never discovered my own charitable obligation before so many smiling people.
I said I had not agreed. He held the microphone, so most people heard only his response telling me not to be shy. I was not shy. I was angry and uncertain how to show it without becoming the story about somebody supposedly ruining a wedding. One guest raised a banknote. Another offered more. The bride stood, confused, but her aunt caught her arm and said to let people enjoy themselves.
I approached the host and asked him to pass me the microphone. He raised it above my shoulder as though continuing the game. I turned to the guests and said without amplification that they could donate money without buying access to my body. Somebody called out that it was only a cheek. I asked whether he wanted to offer his own. Several people laughed, but I found nothing funny. I wanted this joke finished, not improved.
The bride finally reached us. She took the microphone, which the host immediately handed over to her. She said there would be no auction. The box for voluntary donations remained on the table. She did not apologize to guests for my disappointing them. She apologized to me for not standing sooner. It was the first moment I could breathe without feeling I had to prepare another sentence in my own defense.
In the corridor the host explained that he did this at every wedding and nobody had ever complained. I said somebody had now. He was not seeking an answer; he wanted to return the conversation to a place where my objection would seem unusual. The bride's husband approached and told him to provide music for the rest of the evening without similar games. I did not stay to hear the discussion about his fee. I collected my bag and went outside for air.
Later I danced with my friends. I donated to the playground, giving the amount I had planned before my name reached the microphone. I did not want that decision taken from me too. When I left, I hugged the bride and she kissed my cheek. It was an ordinary affectionate kiss I wanted. The difference was simple enough that nobody needed to announce it to the entire room.